As you may have guessed, I'm not a big consumer. I try to avoid stores like the plague, especially in this commercial frenzy we like to call "the Christmas season." However, well, I've been wanting to read Wil Wheaton's books for some time now, and I happened to have this two-year old gift card in my wallet. I won't name the bookstore the card is from from, but let's just say it rhymes with "orders," as in "order more damn books!" Anyway, I decided yesterday, of all the weekends in the year, was the day to get those books.

Now, I could have used this card to buy these books online. I think.
However, their online database told me that the closest store had both books in stock, so how hard is it to just go over there and get them? Right? Then I'd have the books RIGHT THEN. Right?

Except they don't have one of the books. "Oh, you shouldn't use the online database. It's never correct," the info guy tells me in a scolding tone. Then what the CHRISTMAS BELLS is it there for? What the CHRISTMAS DUCK am I supposed to do with it? If I see a link that says "Check to see if this book is in stock" I'm damn well going to check to see if the book is in stock!

Well, it's not a total loss; the other book is in their inventory. Only, when the guy goes to look for it, it's not on the shelves. Apparently, their in-store database can't be trusted either. At this point, I'm starting to feel like I'm in that Monty Python Cheese Shop sketch, where John Cleese keeps listing cheeses and Michael Palin cheerily informs him they don't have it. "It's not much of a cheese shop, then, is it?" Really, Store-That-Rhymes-With-Orders, learn how to inventory your books better.

So I briefly entertain the idea of calling other stores in the area, but he tells me how long it might be before they even answer their phones. I realize I really don't want to drive all over Chicago just for a couple of damn books. He asks me what I want to do.

"I don't know; I think I'll just give up," was my answer.

This is the kicker. His reply may have made the trip worthwile.

He replies, "Oh don't give up. You've come this far. What Would Wil Wheaton Do?"

Um. Guy. They're just books. I think Wil Wheaton would have realized this and decided he could find them another day. Really, it's not like I idolize or worship the guy; I was just curious about what he wrote.

WWWWD indeed.

listening to: Rolling Stones "You Can't Always Get What You Want." Sometimes I think iTunes shuffle really isn't that random.
in my sink: Oh, it's full. I'm not even going to count.